What it Says on the Tin …

12/09/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 24 – ‘What it Says on the Tin’ – Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional porkie pie each bi-month. This month the prize for the first in with the correct answer is a 400 word assessment.

I thought September was going to be about a bit of cosmetic surgery. You know, freshly painted playing field lines and brightly coloured uniformed soft furnishings.
Alas, no. I hear (by eavesdropping) that the kitchen carcases have not arrived at the shop, the granite bathroom top is chipped and Master Builder seems to have gone into hiding. The whole house is being painted in Pale Parchment but it looks more like Cornish Cream. It’s never what it says on the tin.
We’re also at that stomach-twinging stage of rehearsals on ‘Dear John’. The short list has gone up and actors are trying to ‘get off the book’. Book not hook! Always a painful process. A number of entrants have asked for a report on their entry and we hope this isn’t painful but productive. We like to do what we say on the tin.
I still have a few places left on the Creative Ink classes beginning on Tuesday 10th October (Get Inspired) – we’re doing the Seven Ages of Man and Woman this autumn term – from Birth to Wisdom – and Thursday 12th October (Get that Book out of You).
Patricia Sentinella of the ‘Dear John, Dear Anyone …’ collection fame will be reading from her book at the Beaconsfield Library on Friday 30th September at 11.00am.
As I write, Master Builder has pitched up in what was once my kitchen. The carcases have arrived and we’re back on. That Cornish Cream is now looking better in a different light. It looks like the colour of Hope. And if you Google Pale Parchment it throws up Creativity. I guess it’s how you mix it all up and apply the coats.

Anne Graham won the blog prize last bi-month. I did say there would be 12 entries and we have 11 posted. Four handout sheets of your choice despatched to you, Anne as you were first in. The other intentional error was that apparently Jack built a rotten house. Master Builder is faring better.

Assessments to be taken up within two months and not applicable to ‘Dear John’ reports.

The House that Dear John Built …

30/08/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 23 – The House that Dear John Built … Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional porkie pie on each blog. This bi-month four Creative Ink handout sheets to be won …

My house is raining dust. The builders found a 1985 packet of crisps down the back of the kitchen cupboards and for one indigestible moment I thought Mr Justin Case was going to open up and eat. We are not culprits – we moved in here in 1986 – so the packet of crisps was here already when we arrived and has silently lived alongside of us all these years.
We’ve been living with dust and builders for weeks and I’m learning a whole new language. The other day I asked a solitary visiting workman at lunchtime when I had not seen sight of one all morn, “Where have you beeeeeen?
“Drying out,” he said.
“Drying out?”
“Been plastered,” he said.
He meant the bathroom – it needed time and space – but I frequently know how that feels and added to that rain is stopping play. Anyway, the solitary workman had just come to collect a broom and bucket. They are busy on a house around the corner.
They talk about ‘ripping out’ the kitchen and stripping down and building up from the foundations and it ‘getting worse before it gets better’ and as Master Brylcream and Ms Juke Box and Master Sound Advice (Dear John Production Team) struggle with locating locations and seeking props and juggling dates on a production schedule, it sounds pretty much like what we are doing on the Dear John project. For work on words in rehearsals are about taking a missive apart and exploring its possibilities and finding something new in what we have been familiar with and well, extending ourselves. Jack built a good house.
We now have a dozen great Dear Johns and the short list will be posted on my website very soon. We are well into Phase 2 (Rehearsal) of the project (Phase 1 being the publicity of the project and receipt of the entries) and like the building or extension of an old house we work hard and hope that the final package will be good for consumption. Unlike that packet of 1985 crisps …

John Moore won last bi-month’s blog. Of course there is more to concrete than cement, John. You did seem to take flight with the issue. Four handout sheets on concrete poetry despatched …

Delay in posting this month – building works on the line.

14/08/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 22 – Set in Concrete – On each blog Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional fib. This bi-month wins four handout sheets on concrete poetry.

The days leading up to the Dear John deadline I waited for the missives to arrive on my doormat. Now that deadline has past, I wait for builders. They didn’t turn up one day until lunchtime. I said, “Where have you beeeeeeeeen?”
“Cement,” they replied.
Where there is a delivery of cement, that’s where builders are and they are nowhere to be seen today. There must be cement being laid somewhere in Beaconsfield but not here.
I know that being set in concrete is not very flexible but I’ve learnt that building tight foundations takes time and it’s best not to rush the pudding cooking to mix my metaphors rather than my cement. 153 Dear John entries take careful reading by judges, production crew and actors. We should have a decision by the end of September and I will post the short list on my website and let all entrants know that I am doing so.
It was great to meet up with our judge Tony McHale who was thrilled that we have raised the £765 for the Heart charities and filming obviously excites him. He energised us with his enthusiasm. By us I mean the Creative Ink/Dear John production team: Miss Juke Box, Master Brylream, Master Sound Advice and Master Mind and whilst the reading of Dear Johns by actors takes place so we are trying to find dates for filming and it’s all about what’s in the air at present rather than what’s firmly on the ground. Here’s to the whole project cementing for cement is made up of more than concrete. Master Mind is marrying our daughter – Miss Trial – next year and so life is ‘full on’ as the young ones say. Miss Trial, for obvious reasons, is having a busy time of things.
Right – so where is Master Builder then?

Congratulations to Georgia Connell – a young local writer who rightly spotted that the Dear John deadline was July 31st and not August 1st although even I might have been forgiven for thinking so if you saw the number of late entries.

Life’s a Rehearsal …

31/07/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 21 – Life’s a Rehearsal …On every blog, Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional fib. The first one in receives a prize and this bi-month it’s four free Creative Ink handout sheets …

Life’s a rehearsal because it’s about exploration and discovery; it’s about being on time and respecting others’ time. Rehearsals and life are about pushing out the boundaries and laughter and tears and meeting and greeting and sometimes kissing. Life and rehearsals are about trying to make the moments the best they can possibly be for oneself and for others and being ‘in the moment’ because if you aren’t it really isn’t working at all. It’s about work and discipline and fun and experiments and I can think of no better analogy for what life should be but a great rehearsal.
I love rehearsals and as of next week I’m back to what I love doing the most with some of the best and funniest and most talented actors in town as the ‘Dear John’ deadline is up tomorrow – August 1st – and the best monologues are being chosen for yep, rehearsal and then filming. Creative Ink Publishing has raised £720 so far for the British Heart Foundation and the local Hearts & Souls charity but the entries are still rolling in on creativeinkpublishing@gmail.com. The standard was so good and hearts and souls really went into the words. It’s our intention to bring writers and actors together when the long task of rehearsals and filming is over with a presentation. We’ll shortly be publishing the names of short listed writers on my ‘new look’ website www.janmoranneil.co.uk
On my birthday last week I attended a dress rehearsal of Ms www.fairytaledays.co.uk production of ‘Annie’. That night the dog’s understudy had to ‘go on’. I’m all for the underdog. An excellent directorial debut for Ms www.fairytaledays.co.uk
Congratulations to Maggie Crosbie who spotted that we are not having a bedroom extension here – Mr Justin Case and I need no extra space in that department. And Ms www.silverscreensuppers.com – neither does my bottom – thank you very much. But our kitchen does and as I type the rumbling of cement is a backdrop. Where there’s cement there’s builders. I’ve learnt that builders have two magic words: ‘cement’ and ‘tea’ …

Ladies who Launch …

17/07/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 20 – Ladies who Launch – On each blog Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional fib and the first in wins a prize. This bi-month it’s four free handout sheets of the winner’s choice.

Well done to Caroline Francis – first in with my incorrect spelling of ‘Miss Havisham’ and of course I went to a ‘grammer’ and not a ‘glamour’ school but one could be forgiven for not noticing the latter error. So a 400 word free assessment for clever Caroline, also a clever children’s writer. Phillip Sheahan aka Mr Double Cream from Uxbridge – what were you doing in Blackheath of all places?
So … just two weeks to go until the ‘Dear John’ missive writing competition deadline on July 31st and Creative Ink Publishing has made hundreds of pounds for the Heart charities. It has been exciting getting Dear Johns posted through my real mail box and reminds me of when we used to get Christmas cards before the advent of festive emailed messages. But I am looking forward to Phase 1 of this venture merging into Phase 2 which will be rehearsal of the best of the missives for the ultimate film.
The Beaconsfield Library has booked Patricia Sentinella – author of the ‘Dear John, Dear Anyone …’ collection which has been selling swifter than baby bottom butter – and me to read on Friday 30th September at 11.00am and then they booked me for Wednesday 12th October to give a talk on all the Creative Ink things. Hence my title – Ladies who Launch. I really like this title and feel that someone should permanently employ me to write titles.
The builders are in tomorrow for the bedroom extension.

The Miss Haversham Complex

04/07/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 19 – The Miss Haversham Complex – Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional fib on each blog. This week she is giving away a free assessment of a poem or Flash Fiction up to 600 words for the first correct answer posted.

My house is falling down around me. We’re waiting for the builders to arrive. I’ve been researching kitchen extensions and shades of magnolia paint for three months now and the Wizard of Oz is going to give me a PHD in Home Decorations for I know all there is to know about granite. I told my sister I felt like Miss Haversham, sitting waiting for my future to begin having lived with the Laura Ashley blue roses which have been clinging to our lounge walls for fifteen years and there’s avocado in the bathroom. I need change.
Then I remembered that the lovely Gemma Mount Photography was coming to photograph me in my 26 year old wedding dress for a feature. Gemma’s been snapping ladies who can get into their vintage wedding dresses. It was a close shave. All I needed was some cobwebs.
I’m just back from Croydon having helped out (sometimes by remote control – more former adjective than latter) at the Old Croydonians Centenary Exhibition at my old school – Selhurst Glamour School for Girls – now known as the BRIT school so I’ve been truly wallowing in the past. Put a school uniform on my glamorous peers and you could mistake them for teenagers. As I was dishing out the teas and chocolate rolls a delightful gentleman who was educated in the adjacent boys school in the 40s asked if that was a bit before my time. Hence a bit of the complex just now. To buy Isabel Macleod’s splendid Centenary book go to http://bit.ly/BookDetails
What am I promoting this bi-monthly? Well, there’s one more month to go before the Dear John monologue writing competition deadline and the entries have been steadily coming in. The fiver goes straight to the Heart charities as we have no overheads so keep them coming. If you write more than one – and a number of writers are doing so – enter them under a pseudonym.
Both my classes ‘Get Inspired’ on Tuesday mornings and ‘Get That Book out of You’ on Thursday mornings at the Fitzwilliams Centre are running for seven weeks starting in October. There are still a few places left.

The assessment must be taken up by the end of August.

Launches, Lunches and Extensions …

19/06/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 17 – Launches , Lunches and Extensions … Paige Turner tells a porky pie on each blog. There is a prize for the first spotted fib except this week there is no porky pie as the prizes are being donated to two special ladies.

It’s all been very busy this last week with the double launch of Patricia Sentinella’s collection, Dear John, Dear Anyone …and Creative Ink Publishing – attended by nearly 50 people at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield. Having taught a class in the morning featuring Agents and Publishing and hopping downstairs to ‘meet and greet’, eat a cheese lunch, read some of Pat’s fine poetry and then washing up all those cups (with the help of the wonderful Jennifer Sherry and Maggie Crosbie who receive a prize) I was so exhausted I had to go and lie down. When we had all finished an hour’s worth of mopping up Mr Justin Case (my husband) noticed that there was a commercial dishwasher which would have done the job in four minutes. Ah, well here’s to the bonding that took place.
Some wonderful comments on Pat’s collection – I can’t put it down, Has that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ which marks her out as a professional, You have a winner on your hands and Inspiring and thought provoking. Let’s hope Pat’s book is the first of many winners for Creative Ink Publishing.
After I lay down, Our Best Man took us out for a Chinese at the lovely Jasmine restaurant where our friends and family always have a few vinos and good cry about dearly departed dead dogs and so forth. Jean Leung is one of the most amazingly hospitable proprietors I have ever met. I digress. On our return, my former ‘A’ level English teacher phoned to say that she would be at my old school’s Centenary Exhibition in July. I was full of the Launch and Mongolian chicken, of course and she said, “Oh, Janet, you are having a career extension”. Well, I don’t know about that, but we’re certainly extending our kitchen – so more talk about that in weeks to come …
That would have been a good ending to Blog 17 except yesterday I was Googling myself – it’s a habit of mine – and quite suddenly I discovered I was on Twitter. Miss Connect must have done it as she was one of my four followers – all of whom I know. Maybe my career really is extending. Mr Justin Case hopes it will extend as far as helping with the kitchen renovations.

Last week’s porky pie was that the young man in Saroyan’s play was never going to serve a long sentence – he was going to get lynched. Okay, I’ll make the fibs easier to spot but please – more ‘Dear Johns’ to creativeinkpublishing@gmail.com Had some great pieces in. Mr Justin Case and I spend our evenings reading them.

Hello Out There …

05/06/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 16 – Hello Out There … Paige Turner is giving A Free Glass of Bubbly at the Creative ink Book Launch for being the first to spot the intentional fib …

As I was sending out the press releases for the Old Croydonians Centenary Exhibition taking place on Saturday 2nd July at the BRIT school – formerly the Selhurst Grammar School for Girls and next door to us – the BOYS – I did some Googling as you do. It’s the equivalent of Doodling. You should be doing one thing and off you go elsewhere. Anyway, my fingertips stumbled on the Croydon Advertiser’s feature re: Croydon Youth Theatre Organisation. CYTO. It was my dwelling place when I was in my teens and I graduated from fourth gargoyle to a lead in a lovely little play by William Saroyan called ‘Hello Out There’ and from thence to being a paid tutor at the tender age of nineteen whilst I was still polishing the floorboards at drama college. Anyway, sadly, CYTO loses its paid staff at the end of July and that is a sad story as it was my first professional job and I do believe professionals should be paid.
The other sad little story is that one could never be sure if the guy who hollered ‘Hello out there …’ from a hole in the wall Texan prison ever committed the rape he was imprisoned for or if ever loved the cleaner Emily – whom he called ‘Katie’ or was just buttering her up, promising he would take her to San Francisco, so that she would get him a gun which he could use against the lynch mob coming to shoot him. That was such a long sentence but not as long as the young man in the play was about to serve.
I’m changing the subject now. We’ve had a lot of takers for the Book Launch of Patricia Sentinella’s collection ‘Dear John, Dear Anyone …’. It’s on Thursday 16th June at 12.30pm at the Fitzwilliams Centre, so we’re buying more cheese for the free lunches we are giving. Email me if you want to come. Keep sending in the 600 word missives for the ‘Dear John’ competition – the fiver goes straight to the Heart Charities.
Scriptwriting – on Saturday 11th June at Beaconsfield is going ahead so call 0845 045 4040 if you would like a place.
That’s enough for now. I do sometimes feel like that guy hollering ‘Hello out there …’ He would holler and holler and holler and then suddenly a small voice (Emily’s) goes – ‘Hello’. Anyone reading this blog?

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Last week’s intentional fib was ‘Space Oddity’. It should read ‘Space Odyssey’.

Flash Fiction at the Women’s Institute

22/05/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 15 – Flash Fiction at the Women’s Institute. Spot Ms Paige Turner’s intentional fib for a free glass of bubbly.

No-one got the free glass of bubbly last week. Dave McLurcan posted that there is no UK second class postage but then Dave McLurcan – an actor with my A-One Theatre company in the eighties – has spent too long doing gigs in Fuengirola to know that of course we still have second class postage. Dave McLurcan had a scorchingly sexy way of singing David Bowie’s Space Odyssey and he probably still does out there in Fuengirola. Although sometimes I do feel like Major Tom with this blog. Does Ground Control actually exist?
So the free glass of bubbly is still up for grabs at the Creative Ink Publishing Book Launch of Patricia Sentinella’s collection Dear John, Dear Anyone …on Thursday 16th June at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield at 12.15pm: free cheese, biscuits and coffee, a few poems and questions from the floor. Patricia’s book will be on sale for £7.99. Lucy Cork at the Bucks Examiner says ‘I was gripped from page one’ so come along and have a good time. http://beaconsfield.buckinghamshireadvertiser.co.uk/
Keep those Dear John missives coming in for the Creative Ink Publishing competition. The entry fee of £5 goes directly to the British Heart Foundation and the local Hearts & Souls and we are making money for them already.
Creative Ink for Writers classes are brimming over with words and writers and I recently had a party of a day teaching Flash Fiction to the local Women’s Institute. Believe me, those ladies can really rock … 
I’m teaching an Adult Learning day – Scriptwriting – on Saturday 11th June at Beaconsfield so call 0845 045 4040 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 0845 045 4040 end_of_the_skype_highlighting if you would like a place.

www.janmoranneil.co.uk

A Free Lunch …

08/05/2011 // by Jan Moran Neil

Blog 14 – A Free Lunch. Ms Paige Turner invites you to a free lunch for just pitching up below and a free glass of champagne at the Book Launch for the first person to spot the intentional fib this week.

Creative Ink Publishing
is delighted to invite you to
The Book Launch of
Patricia Sentinella’s ‘Dear John, Dear Anyone …’ £7.99
Date – Thursday 16th June
Time – 12.15pm
Place- The Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield

Free Cheese, Biscuits & Coffee.

RSVP.

There are a few free taster seats at the preceding session starting at 10.00am – Publishing, Agents and Getting into Print. Please book

Available on Amazon and Waterstones or send cheque to 2, Church Cottages, South Weston, Thame, Oxon, 0X9 7EF with SAE (two 2nd class stamps).

And can you also be thinking about getting these ‘Dear John’ monologues/letters/emails/texts/Skype in for the British Heart Foundation writing competition? In less than 600 words the monologue should be some kind of ‘brush off’. Having been in the business of the theatre and writing for a living I am one well acquainted with rejection and its old friend disappointment. Has it been dished out to you and how did you feel? Or have you dished up rejection to another. Did you feel regret or a sense of power or possibly both? Please enter and put your heart and soul into it. I would love one of our Creative Ink actors to be working on your monologue.

Creative Ink Publishing is also delighted to have been asked to submit for Wikipedia – so check us out.