Holes in My Laptop …

Blog 144 – Holes in the Laptop by Ms Paige Turner.
I was up until 2.30 am this morning reading Stephen King’s novel ‘Misery’: an author is incarcerated by a serial killer, former nurse Annie Wilkes. She forces (this verb is a gross understatement) him to bring his central character named Misery back to life. The author had got fed up with Misery dominating his professional writing life. He soon gets fed up with Annie Wilkes: his number one reading fan dominating his reality.
King’s author talks about ‘holes in the paper’. These are different kind of holes from ‘plot holes’ where the number one reader knows they are being ‘cheated’ by the author. You know, those good old ‘deus ex machinas’: the contrived ending or mechanical manoeuvres of the plot which serve only a lazy writer. (Annie, number one reader gets pretty nasty when she is confronted with a plot hole or ‘dirty birdie’ cheat.)
King’s author’s ‘holes in the paper’ are his escape from Annie; his escape into the fictional territory he owns. Of course King’s author had to use a typewriter thirty years ago when ‘Misery’ was being written but I guess we can all escape down the ‘holes in our laptops’. That’s if the laptop doesn’t crack.
My laptop cracked this week in the middle of checking my final set of proofs for my poetry collection: ‘Red Lipstick & Revelations’. I was also collating memories from school friends as part of a tribute eulogy for one of peers, Caryl, whose memorial service is taking place on Lake Ontario tomorrow, Monday. So I had my own deadlines albeit not as deadly as King’s author’s deadline.
However, when I was waiting for Michael from Hazlemere Computers to turn up on Friday evening I felt about as powerless as King’s author: subject to the workings of Michael’s mind. Lucky for me, Michael’s problem solving capabilities are informed and logical, unlike Annie’s. When he emerged from my study on Friday evening with good news and the kind of smile that only plumbers or consultants exhibit on diagnosing a problem I felt my life was back on. My laptop is now uncracked.
I’m feeling pretty groggy today having finished King’s ‘Misery’ last night. Annie and her axe ground through my dreams. King’s author was terrorized into finishing his novel. There must be easier ways to write any ouevre. Try my Tuesday morning classes at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield beginning October 4th from 10. 00am until midday. (£170) There really is only one place left and three places left on the ‘Get that Book’ course, 4000 words assessment and a one hour and bit consultation. (£120) Email me.