‘Blog 225’ – ‘Driving Ms Moran Neil’ by Ms Paige Turner
I had to drive Mr Justin Case’s car to my lovely Quakers’ Poetry meeting this week. My car was being serviced for the first time in four years as I have only driven 7000 miles since 2015. It seems a long drive to me. I don’t do motorways or speeding. I drive gently to poetry meetings.
When we got into Mr Justin Case’s Mazda to collect my smaller Mazda, his engine light came on. ‘What have you been doing to my car,’ Mr Justin Case said, not really asking the question.
‘I only changed the radio station,’ I replied.
If your engine warning light is going to come on, then best to come on when you are on the way to a garage where you are paying a, lot, of, money. When we arrived the jovial garage man said, passing us the bill for a, lot, of, money, ‘Mrs Neil, as usual has been wrecking her car, driving like a mad woman and destroying the undercarriage …’ Ha ha ha and Mister Justin Case joined in with the ha, ha, ha.
I said, ‘You had better be careful. This is anti-feminist and anti-Me Too language. I shall call my solicitor.’
The garage man said, ‘Oh we aren’t racist, or misogynists. We’re diverse. Not exclusive. We include everyone in our rudeness.’
I thought it was funnier that ‘Fleabag’. Especially as Mister Justin Case’s red light was an oxygen blip.
Creative Ink for Writers’ next Evening Workshop is on Wednesday 4ht December at 8.00 pm in Amersham with Catherine’s ravishing refreshments, 2 hour workshop with me and hand out sheets all for £18. Email me for details.
There’s a lot of slick golden years of Hollywood dialogue in those exchanges. Are you sure that garage man wasn’t Cary Grant in a former life? Those ‘oxygen blips’ in conversations are always worth noting.