Hello Chickens or The Importance of Tight Foundations

Blog 1 by Ms Paige Turner
Hello, Chickens or The Importance of Tight Foundations

(She tells one lie on every blog – see if you can spot ‘The Porky Pie’. The prize for the first correct emailed answer each week is a free assessment – up to 1000 words – of your emailed writing …)

I spent the morning watching the polish dry on my toenails, basted a chicken and put it in the oven. I forgot to apply a base coat.

I would like to introduce the first of a plethora of characters: my niece – let’s call her Miss Connect. Miss Connect is into the business of marketing small businesses via websites and has connected my blog from my website to her Box of Blogs. She said a blog was A Shop Window, although it might effectively be called A Public Diary.

I know there is absolutely no virtue in being un-technological. In 1970 when I was selling men’s ties at Woolworths I had to learn to switch to decimal coinage. I’m now just about switching into my menopause and I’m switched on to modern technology – and for fear of Blogging it to Death – here is some news of my professional activities.

There are several branches to my creative bow: Creative Ink for Writers, Creative Ink for Actors and Creative Ink Publishing. This week I will focus on
Creative Ink for Writers – which was established in 2000.

I run two creative writing courses each academic term on a Tuesday and a Thursday morning at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield: Get Inspired – which this term is exploring Familiar or Unfamiliar Faces in Familiar or Unfamiliar Places, subtitled – Let’s Face It. The Tuesday morning faces are delightful but no more delightful than the ones in my Thursday morning group who attend the course: ‘Get That Book out of You’ – for those writers wanting to tackle a bigger project. You can come and taste a class and my homemade chocolate biscuits any time for free if you book a seat. I never run over twelve writers as twelve writers are as much as any one tutor can handle at a time. And how lovely these writers are to handle. Many of the writers attending my classes over the years have contributed to local and national magazines – some even publishing their own anthologies or novels with the help of my Red Auto Correct I include up to 20,000 words assessment in the termly fee and I purport to be the fastest, best and most competitively priced assessor around.

I also write. My last play: ‘The Deadly Factor’ has just been published by New Theatre Publications www.plays4theatre.com. Seven actors are vying for a recording contract with a major producer. The problem is that the seven actors are preparing to play the seven deadly sins and progressively become nastier as they ‘make up’. Which is the deadliest of them all? Well, keep reading my blog and you will find out. But more on sins later …

Watch out on my next blog for news of another feather in my tree: Creative Ink for Actors which has developed from the embryo stage in 2002 to full blown productions and films. Since its inception, many of the delightful young actors and actresses have had babies which do get in the way a bit of productions: Isabella and Freddie, Elise, Saffie and Jacob. In fact some actresses have been fully blown pregnant during rehearsals, explaining why a number of my characters are about to give birth.

Talking of babies, roast chickens like all creative people and projects need child minding so the oven calls. My beauty therapist – let’s call her Miss Tea Tree Oil – told me that from menopause and thereafter one should never look at one’s face in a magnifying mirror with one’s spectacles on. Alas, my days of being a spring chicken are over. Miss Tea Tree Oil also said that not putting a base coat on your toenails before polish is a cardinal sin and that foundation garments are vital.

Thus, with relief, have we come full circle which is such a good place to be and my blessed blog has been founded. I’m happy to publicise your websites on my blog and/or introduce you as a character if you give me work. Until next week then when I shall discuss The Nature of Sins and introduce Master Mind …

Ms Paige Turner aka Jan Moran Neil – www.janmoranneil.co.uk

N.B. Winners of Ms Paige Turner’s ‘Porkie Pie’ competition must email words within a month.