Blog 72. Message to Miss Janet Titterington – aged 13.
1. Don’t pay out for all those counselling sessions for your wasp phobia. They won’t work. Just don’t go on picnics in August.
2. You will become thin.
3. You will lose your virginity one day.
4. You will publish your novel. (BLACKBERRY PROMISES AVAILABLE ON AMAZON – PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW.)
5. You will lose the things you love: watches, best friends, your parents, your hair, your voice and your confidence. They will be returned to you, grow back, or come around in a different form.
6. Tell your mother and father that they are a good mother and father.
7. Remember you have been fortunate enough to have a good mother and father.
8. You will get to Cambridge University but it will take you a long, long time.
9. Wear factor 50 on your face when you go in the sun but you will need Botox past your menopause on account of your astigmatism and because vanity is one of your major flaws.
10. Say ‘sorry’ quickly if the person counts with you and even if you are not in the wrong because you will never lose the acid on your tongue.
11. You will marry your prince and give birth to a beautiful princess.
Creative Ink for Writers’ November classes – 1 place left on Tuesdays and 3 places left on Thursdays. Email me.