Blog 48 – 48 Shades of Popcorn …on each blog Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional porkie pie. Spot this one and you will receive an emailed copy of her collection – Serving Bluebird Pie.
What I want to know is … when Christian Grey is busy bonking and other things in the bedroom where does he get the time to expand his empire? Or maybe his empire has already been expanded (oh, whoops, oh sorry, I didn’t mean that) and maybe I shouldn’t be opening my mouth (oh my, sorry – there I go – rolling my eyes and growling). What will become of me?
Soft porn is awfully like popcorn – the salty kind – oh dear – I’m off again – but bear with me on this simile: popcorn’s light, fairly innocuous and intended to aid distraction, to be devoured mindlessly – and listen – when you’re waiting for medical test results, reading it can be worth its weight or even – wait – oh my, I’m off again.
Jean Paul Satre said, ‘Life – what a cauchemar’. (Life – what a nightmare.) It’s the kind of thing he might have said but life is certainly full of tension, whether it be wishing that someone will pass the finishing line first or waiting on medical tests or simply living in a relationship – trying to balance the old Dominant/Submissive. Maybe that’s where Christian Grey’s author scored. Maybe women are fed up with having to eat what they kill and would like some popcorn bought for them. I don’t know; maybe EL James is redressing (sorry!) some kind of balance.
I have it on the excellent grapevine of Miss Tea Tree Oil (soon to be a Mrs) that EL James is very local. I think the 50 Shades missed a marketing tool (oh my) there. What if she had remained anonymous? Every woman of voting age could have laid – (oh!) – claim to writing it. Miss Trial did wonder – my father’s name was James, Miss Trial is married to one, my nephew – about to give birth to twin boys any minute – is called James and my niece Miss Connect is married to another one. My middle name is Eugenie and we can pluck an ‘L’ from anywhere. But then EL James is not anonymous. Apparently EPublishing readers like to get to know their authors and that brings me beautifully to the success of EPublishing and my own vanilla collection – Serving Bluebird Pie – which is on Amazon Kindle right now – so buy.
The above has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’ve bagged a free Caribbean cruise after the end of the Creative Ink term for Mr Justin Case and me (forget the ball bearings – Mr Justin Case is delighted with me) in exchange for half a dozen Creative Ink for Writers’ ‘Get that Book out of You’ lectures. We shall be returning to our honeymoon isle of Antigua and visiting the island my father James said was Paradise on Earth: St Lucia.
Wasn’t Mo Farah brilliant? There was no way to tie (oh my, sorry) this fact into the rest of my saucy narrative. Well – there we are, blog 48 like track runs was whipped off in minutes (oh my, I didn’t mean it like that …)
5 Places left on the Wednesday Creative Ink for Writers autumn term and I’ve already opened up assessments this month.
Caroline Francis – well done for spotting that erring ‘e’ on Maupassant (e) last blog. Something serious this way comes from my Pie collection.
Great fun!