Blog 42 – Raining Cats and Dogs …Ms Paige Turner tells an intentional fib on each blog … a flash fiction 250 word assessment to be won on this one …
We have brand new cream carpets on all our floors. We even take off our slippers and walk barefoot so that not a speck of dirt lands on the unpolluted pile.
Last week, when it raineth every day I was dashing off to meet Ms Juke Box – wait for it – there is a connection to the first paragraph – be patient – when an wide-eyed King Charles Spaniel – a stray – was sitting by my car. I miss my Cocker Spaniel Jack, but alas, travels and cream carpets keep me and dog ownership apart. Conscious that Ms Juke Box and I needed to check out the red carpet for the forthcoming November premier of the ‘Dear John’ film, I called up to Mr Justin Case that a spaniel was (now) on our doorstep and could he come and dog mind. Mr Justin Case – love him – said leave the dog – the owner will pitch up. I saw King Charles Spaniel had a name tag so reached to catch the number and the landline phone. You guessed. With a smile, because dogs do, King Charles Spaniel bounded over my lounge cream carpet as I was phoning his owner and my husband was now downstairs shouting, “You very silly woman”. I shouted at the neighbouring owner that my new cream carpets were being destroyed – or something similar.
The rainy day got worse. The traffic warden at Barn Hall, Amersham didn’t spot my parking ticket on the wind screen and said she couldn’t possibly take the penalty charge notice back – I’d have to write and appeal and no, she couldn’t give me her name. My car needs a new suspension and the bank is charging me £6 a month erroneously on my overseas business. I’m a writer! What overseas business? Well, just print out the forms and we’ll cancel the transaction.
I needed to go to bed, packed the dishwasher which bit my ankle. I was lucky. I don’t think it needs stitches but I haven’t removed the plaster yet.
The good news is that Mr Brylcream (elevated to Mr now he is married) only needs 5 metres for his projector so we may have more ‘Dear John’ seats than we thought. It’s made it all worthwhile.
Missenden Abbey Write Beginners – many thanks for the lovely day in the library.
E Publisher – Tim AJ Cox – will be talking at Creative Ink on Thursday 31st May at 11.00am. Free admission. Email me.
Scriptwriting Day Workshop at Beaconsfield – Saturday 23rd June
Last bi-month’s intentional error – how do you spell synaesthesia? Like that.
Ah! Life with cream carpets is such a rich source of entertainment. And any sauce, rich or not, should not be mentioned in the same breath as cream carpets. Or Spaniels.
As for the ‘fib’ … I hope that your carpets aren’t decorated with paw prints. Or can Red Carpet really be expected at Barn Hall? Or is that a wishful fib? Perhaps we’ll all have to take our shoes off to walk down it. If not one of those then, alas, I am defeated.
Hi Jan, I thought you said you were once the proud owner of a West Highland Terrier? A white puppy would match your carpet beautifully!