Blog 34 – Future Proofed – Ms Paige Turner tells a porkie pie on each blog. Be the first to spot it and this bi-month you will get up to three poems assessed free.
Our TV is sixteen years old. Everything in our house is sixteen years old except for me and Mr Justin Case.
We thought we should invest in a flat screen TV: the present one lives in one of those expensive wooden boxes designed when TVs should be unseen and anyway our aerial has gone squiff with the recent winds so there we were with Mr TV man.
As you can imagine Mr Justin Case has been researching TVs for the past year and he knew exactly which model he wanted until we met Mr TV man who told us that 3D was what we wanted as it was Future Proofed.
This is a new little phrase to me and put me in mind of when I went for my wedding outfit fitting for Miss Trial and Master Mind’s forthcoming nuptials. That evening Miss Trial and her dad – Mr Justin Case – had the luxury of sitting up until the early hours – I had long retired, faint from my fitting and the ensuing cost of that and the Sushi I had subsequently shared with my daughter. However, the next morning, Miss Trial said, “Dad decided to have his wedding day chat with me last night.”
“Oh,” I said, lifting my head from a writer’s chapter 1. “Yes, he wanted to make sure I wanted to marry Master Mind.” Then she swept her hair back with her left hand and sparkling engagement ring and said, “You know Dad. ‘Just in case – rather now than later – before the wedding reception needs to be paid for’.”
I gave her a look of utter horror and said, “What on earth did you say?”
“Oh, don’t panic,” she said. “I told him there was no backing out. I told him you’ve already paid the deposit for your very expensive wedding outfit.”
I sighed with relief. That’s my family. Future proofed.
The TV man phoned at that point to arrange delivery of the 3D Panasonic. Then I had a thought. What if the ‘Dear John’ film becomes transposed to 3D in the future? I – or descendants – could see all dimensions of this old crab here …
Caroline Francis won her second free taster on a Tuesday Creative Ink session for spotting that it’s Rigby and Peller. No-one suggested I couldn’t possibly be a size 14.
Anyone can come to a free taster on a Tuesdays – please book – or Thursdays which has a waiting list but sometimes writers are absent so try.
NB Porkie Pie winners must take up the prize within three months.
How can everything be sweet 16 in your house?
How can 3D be future-proof if 4D comes along afterwards? Followed by 4D, multi-technicolor, full surreal surround sound, table-top imagery.
As a film archivist I can tell you that NOTHING is future-proof in the world of moving images. We are currently grappling with 9.5mm, 16mm, 35mm, 1 inch tapes, 2 inch tapes, vhs, u-matic, betamax and multiple other formats which are now effectively defunkt.
In the future no doubt you’ll be able to call things up direct into your brain to view. In which case I’ll never leave the comfort of the offices of Stirling Cooper apart from to get myself coffee and toast.
Make sure you get a copy of “Dear John” in an archive somewhere. Until this country has a statutory deposit law we are going to lose a lot of this country’s greatest creative efforts.
Jx